so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
