I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Randomize