there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Dear god my vagina.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
