Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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