Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Randomize
