Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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