Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
