I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
