If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
