This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Randomize
