Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
