I just gift wrapped bread.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So much rum. So many feels.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize