You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
