the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
As shirtless as possible
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
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