You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
