I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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