I wish i was in the wii world.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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