You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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