Duck Duck Cougar?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
