i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
