dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
