your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
