she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize