butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
