I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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