Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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