I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
