More tranny stories later!
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
