My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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