imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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