what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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