I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
