i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
