It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
