I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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