my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
