And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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