I'm jealous of your bromance
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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