i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
