my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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