i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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