haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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