Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize