First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
