so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
