Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
