So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Randomize
