K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
