Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
