are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize