i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
