If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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