WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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