it was like fucking gandolphs beard
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
