He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
