her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize