I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
